gf.

I found myself doodling her name during class today. I won't reveal the name because that only leads to problems. But I realized today that the reason I doodle her name, the reason that I constantly think of her is because I think I like her. But then I realized that this is exactly the same when it comes to my relationship with God. When I'm constantly thinking of him is when I basically "like" him the most. This girl's been on my mind a lot, and I barely even know her. We've only had small talk. But dang my perception of her is that she's nearly perfect. With God, I talk to him sometimes, he knows every single thing about me, and yet it's as if I could care less.
I find that the moments I spend just in her presence, I feel complete and at peace. Sure there's that little thing in me that longs to be much more with her, but it's as if I don't need it yet. Plus I know I'm nowhere near ready either. Another correllation to my relationship with God. When I'm in His presence, I'm most at peace. But I guess a difference would be in that we should always be longing for a closer relationship with God? I guess it comes with just having a relationship to begin with, you want to be more. I guess due to my lack of conversation and overall hanging out with this girl, I don't know that yet.
Dang I've got to stop thinking about her. It's not obsession or infatuation, I don't think, but everytime I see her, she just stands out in the crowd. She is all I can see. I wish I could say the same for God, but dang I need like spiritual Lasik surgery.

More Than a Feeling

I woke up this morning and the sun was gone
Turned on some music to start my day
I lost myself in a familiar song
Closed my eyes and I slipped away







I'm a sleeping turtle. Always in my shell.

U + Me = Us

I thought I knew my calculus entering college. But seriously I don't know why it's so hard. It just totally boggles my mind, how can something I have some background on, be so freaking hard? I have no idea, but dang this class is seriously ruining my gpa, my year, and my chances of transferring to anywhere. I guess Bing's starting to grow on me, but still, just I guess the chance to start over out in Cali. That would be real nice. Just to totally be myself, and start anew with school, friendships, life in general. Man I'm totally stressing out now 'cause of calculus. I need peace. Peace in my heart. And what amazes me is how God continually speaks to me. So I get this quote of the day e-mail, and today's just happens to be:

"Christ alone can bring lasting peace - peace with God - peace among men and nations - and peace within our hearts."
-Billy Graham

Constantly I find myself stressing out and always bickering about how much school sucks and stuff, yet I always seem to forget about how blessed I am and how God should be the focal point of my life. This peace that I look for, can be found in Christ. I gotta keep reminding myself that.

The sun's coming up. I've been trying to learn integration and do some research for a poster project for Evolution the whole night. Honestly I didn't perform efficiently in any aspect. I did nothing right. I still don't understand calculus, nor am I close to completing my project. But I can honestly say, I'm feeling less burdened by college. This world has so little to offer me in comparison to what God brings to the table, I just gotta realize that thought now.

Pray for me.